Take Me As I Am
by Drizzle
Summary: dillyxfolken. my first ever, so be kind


In my world, in this story, the Zailback Empire is just starting to fight Fanalia. Dilandau is pure man. ((That means not Celena and never was or is or will be.)  
  
  
  
Take Me As I Am  
  
The night glowed with a fiery brilliance as the sun sagged submissively back to its bed. Dilandau stared down his fifth glass of wine, pondering the day's training and the next day's battle. He was deep in thought and didn't notice the shadow casting over him as Folken slipped behind him.  
  
"What's on your mind general?" Dilandau unseathed his sword in a fluid movement and cupped it beneath the chin of the intruder. Once seeing the stratego's amused expression, he growled playfully.  
  
"Go away Folken, I'm not in the mood for your games." Dilandau muttered.  
  
"Bad day?"  
  
"Those stupid, idiotic, incompetent 'soldiers' I have can't do anything right." Dilandau squeezed the glass in his hand and watched in crumble in his hands. Blood appeared where scratches from the broken glass. He added for effect, "Not even if their lives depended on it."  
  
"Tsk,tsk. My boy, you need to learn control. As a leader, you are expected to teach them the things you expect. You can't expect them all to be what you  
  
are."  
  
"Really? I hope for your sake that that was a compliment" Dilandau smirked, trying for a bad boy image but ended with a sigh. "They do battle tomorrow and they still can't get their melefs to open."  
  
Folken laughed. "Take what you are given and make the best out of it." He paused "You should retire to your quarters now. It's almost shut down time. I don't want straying soldiers wandering like ghosts out here. And you do have a big day tomorrow."  
  
"I don't want to." Dilandau replied childishly. "I'm not tired. Go bully some other little boy. "  
  
"Why? Afraid of the dark?" A pair of violet eyes flashed dangerously in to Folken's. Warning him of the boundary he's stepping on. "Dilandau…" Folken laid his hand over the pale ivory of the boy's.  
  
"Don't."  
  
"Dilandau… tell me what's bothering you. You won't be able to battle well with things nipping at your mind."  
  
"Let me be, Folken, I can take care of myself." He looked off to the distance to keep gathereing tears from forming. Folken caught a glimmer of wetness on Dilandau's pale lashes.  
  
"I won't tell anyone else. This is between us. I want you to do well tomorrow. I want you to survive."  
  
Folken drew the boy in to his arms. Dilandau resisted the urge to rest his head in to the warmth of comfort provided but gave in as Folken brought their bodies closer. He had no words to speak for but his own pain radiating through him in waves, suddenly threatening to overwhelm him. He couldn't allow that. He had to think. He had to act.  
  
But no matter how fiercely he tried, nothing came to his mind except fear. He closed his eyes and wished again that he could cry. But he can't. He was a soldier, and soldiers don't cry.  
  
"What the hell's wrong with me? I can't even stand to be alone. When those bastards get on the battle tomorrow, they are all going to be blown away. They aren't even men yet." Dilandau flinched away from Folken at the thought. His hands dropped to his side. He closed his eyes and wished for wings to take him away. He had gambled on more time to better prepare his soldiers who had become family.  
  
Dilandau's eyes opened slowly. There was nothing to show what he was feeling except the deep brackets on either side of his mouth. He wished again that he could cry. He felt Folken's hard, warm hands gently circling her face, tilting her up to meet his eyes.  
  
"Dilandau, listen to me. You've trained them well. Better than any senior officers could ever have. I've seen them at mock battles and I know what they can do. I know that they will be okay. Listen to me. They will be fine."  
  
The tears that Dilandau couldn't cry raked his throat, all but choking him. "I don't want to be alone. They are all… they are everything… everything I have. I am so… afraid."  
  
"You won't be. You will always have me."  
  
"Yes," Dilandau whispered bleakly. "You won't leave me. Will you? You won't leave me."  
  
Folken gazed down at the rumpled form of Dilandau in his arms. Something in those cloudy indigo eyes made him breathless, as did the thought of …  
  
"Folken---" Dilandau began, looking up at the man holding him up.  
  
Then his words stopped as he saw Folken lean in to kiss away a tear. With a throttled groan he bent and caught his mouth above his, turning his head until his leps opened. Folken kissed back with equally slow, aching rhythms of his tongue. When he finally lifted his head, he was breathing too fast, and so was Dilandau.  
  
"I'm sorry. " Folken whispered hoarsely.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Folken?"  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"I'm not."  
  
Dilandau's vague rumble of encouragement was all Folken could stand.  
  
"We… Dilandau… "  
  
"Folken… don't let me be lonely tonight. "  
  
Folken turned away his gaze before Dilandau could see the widening of his pupils or the sudden intake of his breath as he thought of sharing a bed with him. He waited for fear to come at the thought of being with him. All he felt was a flash of uneasiness that was quickly overwhelmed by a rush of desire.  
  
"Dilandau… You are drunk. I was… wrong. Please don't let this be a distraction to you." Folken looked down at the form in his arms and found an unconscious boy in his arms. Oh, god, Dilandau. I wish I could hold you like this forever. I am the one who is afraid to be alone. I am the one who need you.  
  
Author's note  
  
------------  
  
eee! What well happen next? Review and lets see ( 


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